Compassionate Moms Raising Well-Rounded Children

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by Kaneesha

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Parenting with compassion is not always taught in society. Some parents may believe they are doing what is best for their child by being strict and firm, sometimes, this is not the best method. I am not saying have your child run all over you. I am saying, there is a way to actually talk to your child without feeling that you have to raise your voice, punishing them to the extreme, even abuse. This is not how to raise a child, and it is not even about raising your child, it is about raising a human being into this world. 

Parents are the ones who set the foundation for their children. They are their first teachers, and they need to be compassionate and kind in order to raise good children.

Compassionate parenting starts before your child is even born. It’s important to make sure you have a mindset that will allow you to be compassionate when raising your child. There are also skills that can help you raise your children in an empathetic way, such as using empathy-building techniques, understanding their needs and emotions, and giving them space to feel safe and loved.

Basic yet important skills

Skills that parents will need to raise their child: 

  • Patience 
  • Empathy 
  • Compassion 
  • Grace 

These skills can help them to teach their children how to be patient with others, how to show empathy for other’s feelings and needs, and how to forgive themselves or others when something is not done right or could have been done better. Parents should also have a mindset of compassion so they can see things from different perspectives and learn from each other’s mistakes. These skills can help generations of people grow up into people who care about themselves and others around them. 

Think of a time when you were a child and you were misunderstood by your parents, yelled at, even punished because your parents were not patient, did not have compassion and grace with you. Are you repeating this pattern with your children? 

This is not a way to shame you as a parent, it is a way to realize there are things that were taught to you that were not beneficial to your upbringing and you can break those patterns. The first step is to acknowledge that it happened. Next step, is to make an effort to change it. 

Time to change the pattern 

So, now what do you do? Change the patterns that you felt did not benefit you in your upbringing. What are things you disagreed with in your upbringing? How would you want your parents to approach the situation differently? When reassessing our childhood, it is best to do this with a professional if possible. Even writing things down and processing them is helpful, however, having a professional navigate this is helpful when healing and nurturing wounds you did not realize you had. 

Once you’ve acknowledged the upbringings that you disagreed with, check to see if you are doing the same thing. Instead of being the child, you are the parent now. If possible, it is good to talk to your child (if verbal) about how they feel about their upbringing and listen with an open mind and heart. It can be difficult to hear the things your child says they disagree with, however, having an open discussion is something both parties need in order to understand one another. 

The questions do not have to be difficult. It could as simple as: 

  • How do you feel about your childhood? 
  • Do you think we have an open discussion? 
  • Do you feel comfortable coming to me about things that are bothering you? 
  • Do you feel safe with me? 
  • Is there something you want different between our relationship?

Have an open discussion like you would have wanted as a child. When we have open conversation with our children, we get insights into how they are truly doing and how we can change how we parent our children and ourselves. 

I hope this article is helpful for you to realize you are trying your damn best and that you want to change how you live your life with compassion and grace. Raising children with empathy and patience can make the world a better place as a collective. 

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